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arsenicalhumor

Offline (the 01/12/2014 at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

arsenicalhumor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1481
  • Number of comments : 214
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About arsenicalhumor : Hello! I am a Gothic-Metalhead ^^ I work at a Prep Shop for a car dealership/group. On my free time I'm either reading FML's, or gaming. I like women, so if you're here to flirt go find someone else.

arsenicalhumor's page activity

Visits<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:36am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:42am<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:20am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:20am<b>poncho55</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:35pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:29pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:37pm<b>pinkshirtbadman</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:23am<b>drewflav</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:19am<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:19pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:41pm<b>GenH2105</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:56pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:50pm<b>jordann_27</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:58pm<b>SilaOtlu</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:04am<b>Colourize</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:31am

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arsenicalhumor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39054) - you deserved it (14562)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (5075)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML

#21007096
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38875) - you deserved it (4212)

On 12/27/2013 at 9:01am - work - by Hungry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44074) - you deserved it (5828)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (4397)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (3304)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (10177)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

#20917208
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44534) - you deserved it (3947)

On 10/12/2013 at 1:40am - kids - by easily amused (woman) - United States

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54440) - you deserved it (5081)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (4217)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39215) - you deserved it (6489)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (7327)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59219) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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