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armorman86

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 3:43pm) | Search for a member

armorman86

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About armorman86 : I'm a person that lives in a place. Im a gamer at heart and can easily play for days on end. FML is for when I'm bored or in an awkward situation so it's no surprise it's on my phone.

armorman86's page activity

Visits<b>gionatorinc</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>cargaljen</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 12:20pm<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:46pm<b>w_introuble</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:31am<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:52am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 3:14am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:17am<b>larson15</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:25pm<b>BananaTheHannah</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 6:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 2:15am<b>Kiztalee</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:58pm<b>Incognito_1924</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:37pm<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 10:09pm<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 1:06pm<b>TanyaCat</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:44am

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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armorman86's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (39035)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (3706)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you deserved it (17427)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (5690)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3619)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55880) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52988) - you deserved it (8021)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36010) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52475) - you deserved it (4103)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59495) - you deserved it (20986)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (5722)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (5363)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (7972)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States



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