ariverperson

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Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 11:39pm)

ariverperson

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2820
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ariverperson : I like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lord of the Rings and hash browns

ariverperson's page activity

Visits<b>SRU22</b> - 11 hours ago<b>xfireds</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:45pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 7:56pm<b>astrodick</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:41pm<b>burnanator</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:43am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 10:36pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:25am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:51pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:59pm<b>nomad6</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:59pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:31pm<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:47am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:23am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:57pm

Fucked!<b>astrodick</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:36am<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 9:26am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Boss302x</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:04am

ariverperson's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ariverperson's badges

ariverperson's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

by Floof / 02/15/2010 at 8:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she carved her old boyfriends name in her arm and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

by mike / 02/07/2010 at 2:16am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

by jlowder2 / 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

by LasagnaRawks / 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

by freckle82 / 05/12/2009 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

by bodhimae / 05/03/2009 at 3:15am / Kids

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids