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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64554) - you deserved it (4015)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (3887)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (3887)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (14492)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (6333)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (52519)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (52519)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

#5757165
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (71764)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

#5644801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (13570)

On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24076) - you deserved it (2959)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (3661)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50112) - you deserved it (16245)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British



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