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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17's favorite FMLs

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (14655)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15185) - you deserved it (65403)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (6788)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51728) - you deserved it (3563)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

#16522154
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (3604)

On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

#16522154
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (3604)

On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43649) - you deserved it (5819)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (7351)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (3239)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (5973)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (28715)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (7398)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my future mother-in-law informed me that since she is putting money into our wedding, that all the planning and arrangements are under her authority. FML

#15448287
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37374) - you deserved it (6478)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:38pm - money - by Username - United States (Tennessee)



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