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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

#17477307
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (5339)

On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (9792)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (3506)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML

#17283905
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Shelbitchh - United States

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (14635)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15148) - you deserved it (65242)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (6780)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (3556)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

#16522154
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43307) - you deserved it (3600)

On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

#16522154
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43307) - you deserved it (3600)

On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (5785)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (7335)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (3130)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)



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