![[fr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About arboretum : ? ? ? ? ?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7857) - you deserved it (34451)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, I peed at a urinal. This was a feat for me because I'm a nervous pee-er. It was going great until some guy walked into the empty bathroom and picked the urinal next to mine. Midway through he turns to me and says 'Nice watch.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20061) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Itsamovado - United States
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (2720)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7758) - you deserved it (34357)
On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (1861)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52322) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (53422)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10822) - you deserved it (34391)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7119) - you deserved it (67395)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5367) - you deserved it (60697)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (2653)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (2317)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56690) - you deserved it (2577)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (95185) - you deserved it (4492)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63278) - you deserved it (7964)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
