aqua8992

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Offline (the 09/12/2016 at 2:35pm)

aqua8992

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2348
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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aqua8992's page activity

Visits<b>hauthicus</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 3:23am

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aqua8992's favorite FMLs

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 1:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

by dontrapeme / 09/26/2012 at 6:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

by ahappypenguin / 09/26/2012 at 12:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

by Nyquilwtf / 09/23/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Health

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

by fuckalltwitardsintheface / 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

by Hmmmm / 09/20/2012 at 10:58am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids