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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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anub82

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anub82
  • Town/Country : Texas City, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 June 1982 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 588
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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anub82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (5902) - you deserved it (1929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (1451)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you deserved it (1002)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (752)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (16171) - you deserved it (1168)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (3615)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (1025)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (5828)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (4934)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (912)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (2047)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you deserved it (2694)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (18409) - you deserved it (31654)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States