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antguad

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antguad
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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antguad's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4822) - you deserved it (15788)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (1532)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

#20048023
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12490) - you deserved it (1006)

On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15132) - you deserved it (803)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013
773 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53362) - you deserved it (418597)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)



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