About antart3 : "I am known by many names."
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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antart3's favorite FMLs
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
by sickatwokr / 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML
by AddictiveAddicted / 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by fat and broke / 06/28/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML
by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2015 at 3:06am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Ain't going nowhere / 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm / Miscellaneous
by zaynemaliksvagina / 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by cAPITOLpORN / 06/23/2015 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML
by ICanExplain / 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Health