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antart3

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antart3
  • Town/Country : Arlington Heights, Illinois
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2539
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About antart3 : Tall, White, and Handsome!

antart3's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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antart3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49296) - you deserved it (10475)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51454) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65158) - you deserved it (5626)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (3517)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52607) - you deserved it (5051)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (39558)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51668) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (8929)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (44469)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42362) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57580) - you deserved it (4206)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46963) - you deserved it (14448)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60258) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (4640)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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