About anotherfmladdict : Hello fellow fmylifers. I live in a good, wholesome city in Iowa where there is nothing to do other than smoke pot or sleep around, I prefer to stay home and just like my name says, I am a fmylife addict. I am a very sarcastic person and hate people who lack common sense. I admit I am a borderline Grammar Nazi.
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Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62264) - you deserved it (5229)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20001) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (3521)
On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18479) - you deserved it (10376)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2478)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (2905)
On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33970) - you deserved it (9031)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (34564)
On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50923) - you deserved it (14390)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (106556)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (123439) - you deserved it (18310)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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