This member hasn't filled in the description.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40739) - you deserved it (3853)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52777) - you deserved it (2784)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54736) - you deserved it (3294)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (17164)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (7709)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (4072)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49553) - you deserved it (6051)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45060) - you deserved it (5493)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62667) - you deserved it (5268)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3616)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (5323)
On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54522) - you deserved it (4706)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48860) - you deserved it (9269)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43743) - you deserved it (6033)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56478) - you deserved it (7994)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
