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anniebananie's favorite FMLs
by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML
by rhythmbandit / 10/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Ouchies / 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
by rainedaddy / 09/29/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
by NoPainNoGain / 09/17/2009 at 10:31am / United States (California) / Health
by Masey / 09/17/2009 at 8:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…