Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

annie_nk

Search for a member

annie_nk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7036
  • Number of comments : 1202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About annie_nk : Hi. I'm Annie. I'm happily married and a mother of 2 girls. I am a stay at home mom so this site helps keep me sane. I come here mainly for the comments. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.

Even though my profile says I have zero confirmed FMLs, I actually have one confirmed. I was signed in anonymously when I submitted it and technically that doesn't count. If you wanna know what it is, a simple Google search should help.

annie_nk's page activity

Visits<b>ian3866</b> - 10 hours ago<b>poppypoptarts</b> - yesterday at 12:46pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:05pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:14pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:09am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:02am<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:27am<b>darwinism</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:59am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:59am<b>ldemosthenous</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:18am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:31pm<b>grapegamer</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Shep81</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:31pm<b>cdgrayson</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:32pm<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:35pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:28pm<b>GuessWut</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:22pm<b>steveykinz0967</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:04pm

annie_nk's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of annie_nk's badges

annie_nk's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (71419)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (8294)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47301) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (1907)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

#20028136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (1871)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by spandexwiener (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (1929)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (1429)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (2111)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (5913)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19185) - you deserved it (3339)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (2396)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16966) - you deserved it (10586)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16846) - you deserved it (1662)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: