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annie_nk

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annie_nk
  • Town/Country : Utah, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5256
  • Number of comments : 1172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About annie_nk : Hi. I'm Annie. I'm happily married and a mother of 2 girls. I am a stay at home mom so this site helps keep me sane. I come here mainly for the comments. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.

Even though my profile says I have zero confirmed FMLs, I actually have one confirmed. I was signed in anonymously when I submitted it and technically that doesn't count. If you wanna know what it is, a simple Google search should help.

annie_nk's last visitors

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annie_nk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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annie_nk's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (45277)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38527) - you deserved it (11744) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (10147)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (6229)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43405) - you deserved it (29155)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (7498)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46800) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48331) - you deserved it (29449)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35902) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (8260)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (9645)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)



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