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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (2635)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94676) - you deserved it (4337)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51843) - you deserved it (6900)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (14212)
On 05/30/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48110) - you deserved it (1838)
On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47094) - you deserved it (2765)
On 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm - health - by quietdown (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (45258)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3376)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (33703)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31246) - you deserved it (3184)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:20am - work - by paperbagofdoom (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43711) - you deserved it (2390)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61418) - you deserved it (13740)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (5555)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62335) - you deserved it (2793)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77626) - you deserved it (15621)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)
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