I'm a teacher. I guess it's enough to have an effed life!
Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you totally deserved it (1582)
On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4721) - you totally deserved it (48356)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you totally deserved it (9824)
On 05/03/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by Dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you totally deserved it (3639)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67184) - you totally deserved it (21362)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I walked into the confession booth for the 1st time and start to tell my sins. I mentioned how I had sex with multiple men over the last month. I began to continue telling my sins, until I heard laughter. It turned out my brother was playing hid and seek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41870) - you totally deserved it (6689)
On 04/10/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by vic - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6353) - you totally deserved it (35884)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15790) - you totally deserved it (25723)
On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40684) - you totally deserved it (8565)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)
Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As i put my hand in his boxers he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you totally deserved it (63064)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112706) - you totally deserved it (11735)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
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