About angrynegro7 : I am unimpressed...GO AWAY!
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angrynegro7's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
by traumatized4life / 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
by grimatwork / 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
by tht1chk / 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Stephie2009 / 10/30/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Love
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
by Samantha / 10/30/2010 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Kids
Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
by miss cranky pants / 10/30/2010 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML
by mrtut / 10/29/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids
by nonexistant / 10/29/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for… Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest… Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself.…