About angrynegro7 : I am unimpressed...GO AWAY!
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (3972)
On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (25325)
On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16087) - you deserved it (2399)
On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (3598)
On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (4904)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12706) - you deserved it (66484)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (1933)
On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (45391)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (45391)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (2505)
On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58064) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52574) - you deserved it (2761)
On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (62527)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14863) - you deserved it (5168)
On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (10260)
On 12/29/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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