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Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you totally deserved it (1685)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you totally deserved it (2866)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come to. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you totally deserved it (48082)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you totally deserved it (7184)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13331) - you totally deserved it (54464)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you totally deserved it (7495)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11548) - you totally deserved it (23873)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you totally deserved it (4595)
On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you totally deserved it (9935)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you totally deserved it (5365)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4836) - you totally deserved it (38522)
On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13383) - you totally deserved it (55197)
On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you totally deserved it (7435)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32124) - you totally deserved it (13237)
On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5776) - you totally deserved it (46404)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
