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anencephalic

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anencephalic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1095
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.

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anencephalic's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (24426)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (35577)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
817 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (463208)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62832) - you deserved it (11206)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79559) - you deserved it (11985)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9341) - you deserved it (158869)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (133740)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655427) - you deserved it (48794)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
331 comments

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48814) - you deserved it (299976)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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