Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anencephalic

Search for a member

anencephalic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1292
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.

anencephalic's page activity

Visits<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:19am<b>TurnDown</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:56pm<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:42pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:57am<b>meowwrongnotacat</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:09pm<b>TGheat1</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 6:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:25am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:51pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 3:46am<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/11/2012 at 1:28pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 11:43pm<b>susi41</b> - the 12/12/2011 at 4:57pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 11/13/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 10/01/2011 at 1:50pm<b>mechanicdan06</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 12:37am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/13/2011 at 10:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>MD_DILF</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 9:26am

anencephalic's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of anencephalic's badges

anencephalic's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (87336)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

#18127186
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12108) - you deserved it (41422)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:09am - misc - by candice - Reserved

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (7944)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (36464)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (4078)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (3362)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (9370)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34368) - you deserved it (9557)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (9403)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (4245)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (3449)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realised I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

#16718637
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (9408)

On 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49868) - you deserved it (5273)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (6401)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: