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anencephalic

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anencephalic

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1359
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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anencephalic's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9690) - you deserved it (25651)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (30625)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (4978)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12753) - you deserved it (46545)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

#18788616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (2606)

On 01/12/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (5842)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51792) - you deserved it (4408)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (4929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (7971)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43696) - you deserved it (3173)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (3237)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (2574)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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