anencephalic

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anencephalic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1976
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.

anencephalic's page activity

Visits<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:00pm<b>xSaru</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:27pm<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Ittybittyx</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:13am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:19am<b>TurnDown</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:56pm<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:42pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:57am<b>meowwrongnotacat</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:09pm<b>TGheat1</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 6:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:25am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:51pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 3:46am<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/11/2012 at 1:28pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 11:43pm<b>susi41</b> - the 12/12/2011 at 4:57pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 11/13/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 10/01/2011 at 1:50pm

anencephalic's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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anencephalic's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Health

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy