About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.
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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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anencephalic's favorite FMLs
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…