anencephalic

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anencephalic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1931
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About anencephalic : If I ever write anything profoundly stupid, please be patient with me, after all, I haven't a brain.

anencephalic's page activity

Visits<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:00pm<b>xSaru</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:27pm<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Ittybittyx</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:13am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:19am<b>TurnDown</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:56pm<b>MrHomedog8</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:42pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:57am<b>meowwrongnotacat</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:09pm<b>TGheat1</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 6:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:25am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:51pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 3:46am<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/11/2012 at 1:28pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 11:43pm<b>susi41</b> - the 12/12/2011 at 4:57pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 11/13/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Epikouros</b> - the 10/01/2011 at 1:50pm

anencephalic's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of anencephalic's badges

anencephalic's favorite FMLs

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

by skid kid / 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2012 at 11:37am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

by slickrick22 / 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

by . / 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

by hopeless cluts / 01/29/2012 at 2:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

by lol / 01/25/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Health