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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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androgynist

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androgynist
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 244
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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androgynist's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (24578)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

#5100044 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (6086) - you deserved it (35283)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59779) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (29480)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (38272)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (25649)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (224154)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (140120)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97759)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52597) - you deserved it (7828)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend, was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (13753) - you deserved it (7364)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)