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andrewms

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andrewms

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  • Number of visits : 3147
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andrewms's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 6:23am<b>llstan2006</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 10:58am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:53pm<b>farmgirl</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 2:15am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 8:18pm<b>unsafe</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 5:17am<b>arienh4</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 2:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 3:24pm<b>fyourlife33</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm<b>runkatrun</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:35pm

andrewms's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

andrewms's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83888) - you deserved it (3905)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (7114)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52130) - you deserved it (14223)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

#4026463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11491) - you deserved it (41545)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:13am - love - by lonely (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17164) - you deserved it (68427)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17262) - you deserved it (38690)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56143) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53027) - you deserved it (23628)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

#3407899
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51518) - you deserved it (2266)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97851) - you deserved it (5544)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44284) - you deserved it (15328)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56065) - you deserved it (6931)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44093) - you deserved it (11419)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML



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