Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

andrewms

Search for a member

andrewms

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3083
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

andrewms's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 6:23am<b>llstan2006</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 10:58am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:53pm<b>farmgirl</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 2:15am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 8:18pm<b>unsafe</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 5:17am<b>arienh4</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 2:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 3:24pm<b>fyourlife33</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm<b>runkatrun</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:35pm

andrewms's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

andrewms's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (3679)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (3679)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

#5892074
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47266) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Indonesia (Jawa Timur)

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

#5877463
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (2922)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32145) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

#5634739
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4476) - you deserved it (15468)

On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

#5607614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (35731)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9342) - you deserved it (32347)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48347) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: