andrewms

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andrewms

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4497
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andrewms's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 2:53pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:58pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 6:23am<b>llstan2006</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 10:58am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 4:53pm<b>farmgirl</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 2:15am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 8:18pm<b>unsafe</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 5:17am<b>arienh4</b> - the 07/17/2009 at 2:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 3:24pm<b>fyourlife33</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm<b>runkatrun</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 2:35pm

andrewms's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

andrewms's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

by cc10 / 10/19/2009 at 7:50am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

by cc10 / 10/19/2009 at 7:50am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2009 at 3:10am / Indonesia (Jawa Timur) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

by omgwtf / 10/18/2009 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

by Ignitingmylightsaber / 10/18/2009 at 7:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

by paris78 / 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

by poorcar / 10/05/2009 at 3:38am / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

by masterfail / 10/04/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

by Rae / 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

by apowell5 / 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 10:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous