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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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andrewms

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andrewms
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2109
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andrewms's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (15900) - you deserved it (5464)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (5636)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (2297)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

#6313806 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

#6312169 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (2659) - you deserved it (44245)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (3823)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12810) - you deserved it (21366)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33649)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (2627)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retreive it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (6998) - you deserved it (22473)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58523) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States