Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

andonceagain

Offline (the 07/29/2015 at 8:55am) | Search for a member

andonceagain

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

andonceagain's page activity

Visits<b>KaiAdrian</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>idancewithllamas</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:45am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:17am<b>legendxzelda</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Alaskalex</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 5:17pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 8:22pm

andonceagain's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of andonceagain's badges

andonceagain's favorite FMLs

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (9982)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41824) - you deserved it (7363)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19084) - you deserved it (58907)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (3028)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (3093)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (5795)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63429) - you deserved it (3160)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (68111)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (38520)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31022) - you deserved it (6956)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (11121)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: