Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

andonceagain

Offline (the 01/31/2016 at 4:27pm) | Search for a member

andonceagain

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1981 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1389
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

andonceagain's page activity

Visits<b>KaiAdrian</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>idancewithllamas</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:45am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:17am<b>legendxzelda</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Alaskalex</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 5:17pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 8:22pm

andonceagain's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of andonceagain's badges

andonceagain's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

#21501013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12708) - you deserved it (27442)

On 12/07/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by accidentalnorman -

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

#21491660
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (27248)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (2315)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (7698)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (9535)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (7137)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (4765)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (13255)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55140) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (6037)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: