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Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3161)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (2961)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (4408)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18361) - you deserved it (1146)
On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (2678)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (23226)
On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (37931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (1321)
On 02/22/2012 at 7:02am - health - by AndelleRae (woman) - United States
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (5041)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18536) - you deserved it (2607)
On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States
Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (1351)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (10821)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (2802)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40342) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (1816)
On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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