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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting these random explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (2180)
On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20235) - you deserved it (27436)
On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (14746)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (3637)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (5237)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21920) - you deserved it (13072)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (8758)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (2269)
On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56822) - you deserved it (11486)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85067) - you deserved it (25502)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (53422)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56767) - you deserved it (2875)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (18683)
On 07/07/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Ryan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88861) - you deserved it (52485)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (5787)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
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