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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you deserved it (531)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4127) - you deserved it (11478)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States
Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (1484)
On 09/21/2011 at 11:25am - animals - by agent_awesome - United Kingdom
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (6579)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (804)
On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States
Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (2334)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3401) - you deserved it (10301)
On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (21199)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3793) - you deserved it (6079)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22536) - you deserved it (4561)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (2147)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49457) - you deserved it (4516)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (140101)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (142176) - you deserved it (12678)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69333) - you deserved it (7483)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
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