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analo's favorite FMLs
by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work
by agent_awesome / 09/21/2011 at 11:25am / United Kingdom / Animals
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by bob / 09/01/2011 at 1:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
by Username / 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm / United States / Work
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…