Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

amyrules99

Search for a member

amyrules99
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1106
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About amyrules99 : Umm hi! I'm Amy and imma boss :P

amyrules99's last visitors

vicki101regeneratealexmac222Austin300thisguy184Broadway_Vaynedownzi104rob02Kit_is_the_Shit

amyrules99's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of amyrules99's badges

amyrules99's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

#19129021
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4474) - you deserved it (33380)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7580) - you deserved it (37740)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4582) - you deserved it (25346)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

#19118368
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13781) - you deserved it (49678)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:00pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

#19115429
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7558) - you deserved it (20188)

On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (1917)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML

#19111360
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (9738)

On 02/18/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by snowinggrey - United States

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19348) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (4571)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (6536)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: