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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (2504)
On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (3851)
On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (3166)
On 01/12/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (8146)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (3386)
On 12/18/2010 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14826) - you deserved it (2975)
On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (3626)
On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37777) - you deserved it (3637)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (5184)
On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (19140)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (2432)
On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version
Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17429) - you deserved it (4261)
On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (2751)
On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States
Today, I got an email from my cousin to "save the date" for her baby shower. It's on my 21st birthday. This is the same cousin who got engaged on my 18th. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (2990)
On 07/05/2010 at 11:48pm - misc - by littlestardramaq - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (6239)
On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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