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amy_eire4759's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
amy_eire4759's favorite FMLs
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love
by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
by jaymash / 10/22/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by a-mishunderstanding / 08/08/2011 at 12:07am / Work
by THOMASisMYname / 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Courtney / 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by stepsister / 06/10/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to…