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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (2066)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (2989)
On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12386) - you deserved it (44363)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (2503)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (2743)
On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15390) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (3199)
On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (3362)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32551) - you deserved it (2893)
On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (2764)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (34981)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47597) - you deserved it (21395)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (4515)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44698) - you deserved it (3100)
On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -
Monday 17 June 2013
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