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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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amuzd

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amuzd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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amuzd's favorite FMLs

Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML

#2834470 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (13616)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)

Today, was my music recital. I was playing and sneezed really loud into my saxophone which made the mouthpiece blurt out of my mouth. I have a neck strap and as the saxophone came back towards me the mouthpiece hit me in the head. I knocked myself out in front of the audience. FML

#2303498 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (3479)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by hahacopster (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337 (389)

I agree, your life sucks (201057) - you deserved it (7591)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (14884)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (2332)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (94795) - you deserved it (3923)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167960) - you deserved it (51060)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

#613226 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (59789)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.