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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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amuck

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amuck
  • Town/Country : Jax, Florida, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 February 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About amuck : Shoot me a message and find out. :)

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amuck's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

#17418352 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (2139)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (2277)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (1793)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML

#16534562 (437)

I agree, your life sucks (11415) - you deserved it (38959)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks (50305) - you deserved it (9601)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (4227)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116 (355)

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (10249)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (33897)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (20240)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said 'I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years, grow the f*** up, dumbass.' FML

#15356314 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you deserved it (62273)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (24916)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (4636)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)



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