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ambamm135's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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ambamm135's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
by Richard / 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by StungAlot / 06/19/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health
Today, there is an annual solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML
by VocalizedBoar / 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
by singleagain / 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm / United States / Love
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML
by metalwolf / 04/20/2012 at 4:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by WTF? / 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by unloved / 04/17/2012 at 10:54am / United States / Love
by questionmark707 / 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm / United States (California) / Love
by TJ / 04/06/2012 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…