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amathema

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amathema

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  • Number of visits : 399
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amathema's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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amathema's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (6673)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

#19138431
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6678) - you deserved it (39186)

On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (21780)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (5283)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (23414)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)



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