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amandamania

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amandamania

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amandamania's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (4256)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (7394)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

#20010874
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (2009)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56427) - you deserved it (10343)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (3053)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (46790)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6202) - you deserved it (80357)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (3028)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (1628)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

#19850692
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (2380)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

#19843543
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (2146)

On 06/25/2012 at 4:32am - love - by singlesummer - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (1831)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)



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