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amanda0318

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amanda0318

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 March 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 200
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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amanda0318's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 9:29pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 9:53am

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amanda0318's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44941) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (7651)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55789) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14740) - you deserved it (38397)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (3129)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (3077)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (8174)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (4569)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (6864)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to orientation for college. They gave us a name tag and I tried to figure out how to put it on for a few minutes. After struggling with it I realized it was a sticker. FML

#19665526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (24924)

On 05/22/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by CollegeKID - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7565) - you deserved it (31862)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9468) - you deserved it (22534)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)



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