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alyssaosbun1's FML badges


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alyssaosbun1's favorite FMLs

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49438) - you deserved it (26900)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51726) - you deserved it (6475)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12287) - you deserved it (105008)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)

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