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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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alyssadapsycho

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alyssadapsycho
  • Town/Country : IL
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 August 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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alyssadapsycho's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (3603)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376 (15)

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (672)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2165)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (4944) - you deserved it (44827)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (1054)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (12025) - you deserved it (997)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (16776) - you deserved it (995)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (9563)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (1879)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (8788) - you deserved it (46526)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

#17316346 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Tireddddddd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (29521) - you deserved it (2269)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)