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  • Number of visits : 1824
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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alyspar2's page activity

Visits<b>MisterKnowItAll</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:36am<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:55pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:45am<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:08pm<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:56pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:19am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:13am<b>laurenasabutton</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 12:43pm<b>TheKidOnFire</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:44pm<b>Dory123</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 9:34am<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/07/2012 at 6:25pm

alyspar2's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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alyspar2's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Love

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

by clitty clitty bang bang / 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

by rejected / 04/13/2012 at 1:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

by Judy69 / 04/07/2012 at 3:04am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

by IloveJapan / 04/02/2012 at 10:02am / Japan / Love

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous