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alvarny

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alvarny

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  • Number of visits : 2451
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

alvarny's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (8525)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (9875)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (4303)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (10063)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (3526)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50847) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (3257)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (11785)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57073) - you deserved it (2841)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (7579)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14149) - you deserved it (28686)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (7856)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34741) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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