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alvarny

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

alvarny

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1518
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

alvarny's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (11715)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54211) - you deserved it (2659)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (7277)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43597) - you deserved it (2767)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (28116)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (7822)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33595) - you deserved it (3654)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51973) - you deserved it (6190)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

#17035825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33708) - you deserved it (7342)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10461) - you deserved it (75588) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (79656)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (5567)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (8199)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)



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