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alvarny

Offline (the 08/19/2015 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

alvarny

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2656
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:26pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (5133)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (36888)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (4392)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (3592)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32617) - you deserved it (2793)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (2582)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (22438)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31846) - you deserved it (7086)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44695) - you deserved it (8545)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50942) - you deserved it (17144)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (22306)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (11605)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States



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