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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (473876)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68944) - you deserved it (32612)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (66146)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (71276)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52727) - you deserved it (2740)
On 05/19/2009 at 11:50am - misc - by Margaret (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (18440)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (1785)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52013) - you deserved it (9470)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by peoplesuck (man) - United States
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60701) - you deserved it (5970)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7559) - you deserved it (37327)
On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (60069)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91768) - you deserved it (7456)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74909) - you deserved it (9701)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (4687)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7189) - you deserved it (69242)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
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