altna

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altna

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40804
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About altna : ffs

altna's page activity

Visits<b>P3R50N</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:52pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:18am<b>seetei</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:14pm<b>LebanonBaby</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Bobbi_que_sauce</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:00am<b>hanikassakinah</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 12:08am<b>singer0421</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:11pm<b>melons</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:03pm<b>QueenofBooks</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Papa_Sanchez</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Jiplo</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:44pm<b>shanir</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 4:44pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:05am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 6:01am<b>f4keapologi3s</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 10:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm<b>Koji1313</b> - the 06/01/2011 at 3:33pm<b>Chiba1131</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 3:23am

altna's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

altna's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

by theatreismylife / 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

by T-Pain / 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

by batgirl / 11/20/2008 at 7:55am / Love